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| Finally happy again.... if you know me then you know why i am happy, i shouldnt have to explain..... lots of love | | |
| been a while figured i would say hi, so........ hi | | |
| it never fails, i fall deeply in love with someone and the break my heart...... i cant do it anymore, this is good-bye for a while, i cant take beeing hurt all the time........ it kills me, and i really did love you christopher, for once i wasnt gonna run, but now, i dont know what to do, all i really wanna do is slit my wrists, but that would probably satisfy you, knowing i will never bother you again, but fuck it, i dont care anymore, i have done alot of crying and still have alot more to do........ | | |
| Well I took a suprise trip to allentown last night, went to stonewall and suprised a few people, on the way home i ran over a bunny *sad face* i cried, but i had a good time and i saw a few very important people, there was something missing though...... can we figure out who/what that was? | | |
| What is with me recently? all i do is drink work and sleep...... sometimes........ i drink alot these days, not really sure why..... but i just do..... it is 7:50 am, and i have been up for almost 26 hours, i found a new very good vodka, its called X-Rated, its amazing, so i am guessing, that plus sprite makes this drink called Foureplay, also very good, i was drinking that, "ye'ager" and redbull, and rum and coke, i dunno anymore, i am just so, lost, i feel like i have hit my breaking point, i have hit rock bottom, all i do is cry, i look at that fucking picture, and i see your face, and i see me, and i see how happy we were, and i cry, because i know i fucked it up, i dont know what i would change if i could, but i would change something, i am sorry, i still think about that first night, how beautiful you looked, and how you just knew how to make me smile, you always knew where to touch me and make me go wild, so many times i wanted to just kiss you passionatly and tell you how much you mean to me, and give you the world, you were my world............ but now you're gone, and i dont know what to do, other than pick up the peices and move on....... I still love you, i am still very much in love with you, and i do still to this day get those butterflies in my stomach, and get that goofy smile on my face when i look at that picture and think about the night i asked you out...... did you know that? do you still feel that way? | | |
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